stylecunt

MAKE DO AND MEND

It was good enough for grandma, so it’s good enough for us. If something breaks,fix it. Buying simple supplies from your local fabric store is substantially cheaper than replacing garments altogether. It’s easier than you think, most repair jobs do not necessitate the use of a sewing machine. 

MODIFY

I can’t tell you how many different garments you can make from a simple t-shirt. When an item of clothing becomes stodgy, consider simple alterations in lieu of the rubbish bin. Sometimes, scissors can be your best friend. Turn those pants into capris, rip off the sleeves of that shirt, distress that dress, etc etc etc. Also, familiarize yourself with the world of fabric dyes.

FLEAS

Flea markets are true gold mines. They’re an oasis of folks who don’t know the true value of their wares. Clothing can be lacking at these emporiums, what you really need to scavenge for is accessories. Gloves, hats, and jewelry are always rampant at fleas. Antique kid leather gloves are easy to find, and through creative cutting, can be transformed into haute ornaments Julius would be proud of. Also, with some resourceful pinning, shawls become two second skirts. The possibilities are endless, keep you eyes open. Craigslist is an excellent source to find local garage sales and estate auctions. 

LAYAWAY

Can’t afford it now? Pay it off over time! Many boutiques offer this kind service, and I urge you to take advantage of it. 

DECONTAMINATE

For the love of Pete, clean out your closets. If you have a pile of clothes that you a) Don’t want to alter, b) Are too lazy to sell, and c) Don’t fit any more, give them away! Clothing swaps are how I acquired nearly one fourth of my wardrobe. Your friends need your help in this time of fashion crisis, lend them a hand. 

EBAY

There are some labels that most of us will never be able to afford, so buy it secondhand. I can reveal to you that all of my pieces from designer All Saints were gained through this medium. 

GOODWILL

Racks of tops that are all under $8, what more do I have to say?

BUDGET SITES

There are scores of websites out there with loads of cheap shoes and clothes.

Cutesygirl

GoJane

Forever 21

AmiClubwear

Electrique Boutique 

I do indeed hope that this post was helpful to those of you feeling your belts tighten.

For the first time, I will be taking submissions. Send me your make do and mend’s, your own penny pinching ideas, fashion you believe should be killed with fire, and the like. I want you to send me photos of your outfits. The most ‘fashion forward’ outfit of August shall obtain a special prize from Stylecunt.

Please send all submissions to stylesnatch@gmail.com.

And with that, I leave you with some visual eye candy. Ignore the makeup, adore the accessories.



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I am entranced.

The prodigious doll lamps of the Russian sisters Lena and Katya Popova have sent my head spinning. Every element of the design is worth note, as the intense detail is nothing short of breathtaking.  I am aware that these Rococo geishas have made their rounds on the online blogscape, but I am surprised that the effect of these images has not lingered. This is true, raw fashion inspiration. It is imperative that these dresses be brought to full size scale. 

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LOST VELVET EMPIRE

Velvet empire, methinks you should have stayed lost. After fashion broke up with you in the late 70's, we really never expected you to surface again. But if we ever need an outfit for a 'Little Lord Faulteroy Gone Wrong' party, we'll let you know. 

Also, circular cameo on the back? Where have I seen that before......

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In an attempt to make fashion fail drones feel special, Lip Service has recently started offering a 'pre-order' service. This allows you to stake your claim on the upcoming season before it hits the stores. The fail, I mean Fall line is already up, and it seems that black credit cards everywhere are melting from overuse (some styles have already sold out it seems). 

I'm sure that on the first day of school, your little friends Spooky and Sider will clutch their lunchbox purses tightly to their chests and gasp as you stroll by in your latest Lip Service duds. 

So what has Lip Service cooked up for us this time? I'm sure that the flurry of new silhouettes and fabrics will knock the snark right out of my mouth. I, for sure, am going to be told. 

RETURN OF THE THUNDERDOME

Hey look! It some sort of burner/gypsy/circus/goth fashion fusion. I have certainly never seen anything like that before. 

I would really, really love to know how exactly this is Thunderdome? Is it meant to mean that the old Lip Service Thunderdome line has 'returned' from rehab? Usually, I would complain if they just recycled an old line, but if this the best they could come up with, give me the old stuff any day. At least it had a neat little flight cap, it went perfectly with my biplane. 

I know that when I'm fighting to the death on a bungee cord, goth gypsy school girl is definitely the look to strike fear into the heart of one's opponent. The hide-the-belly zipper top is key. 

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As a result, I have well over sixty pairs of various footwear, all of which have a little of something likable, but are basically flawed. Flawed enough that I must keep searching for their successor. It's torture.

Spats are a good compromise. They fit over your current shoes, giving you a whole new set of possibilities. I own several pairs of WWII-era gaiters, and a clutch of legwarmers besides. They're the hats of feet, serving the same purpose as a nice coverup trilby over inches of grown-out roots.

This collection of fine leather spats (and cute little gauntlets) from Ashes and Empires is stunningly well-composed, but prohibitively expensive. Looking at it as an investment, and a multiplier of all your current footwear, the price seems more palatable, but only just.

Here's for spreading the fruitless longing around:











Ashes and Empires [Smashing Darling]

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Burningman. 

Y'know what's not fun?

Burner fashion. 

Neon colors, fuzzy fabric, polyurethane, and cheap spandex are just a few examples of the eyesore that is burner garb. It wouldn't be so terrible if the monstrosities just emerged on the playa, and then went back into the shed for the rest of the year, but alas, I can hardly remember a night out that wasn't tarnished by encountering a neon fashion mess. 

It's a fashion plot worthy of an evil genius. Convincing thousands of hippies to cover themselves head to toe with fibers that are the exact opposite of eco-friendly. It's hardly a surprising conspiracy. I mean, how hard can it be to convince people, who believe that partying will save the world, to dress like The Electric Mayhem? 

Normally I try to ignore this particular mania, out of sight, out of mind. Then, I came across this. From shoddy home-sewn projects to a full on assembly line of tragedy. 

Please.

Make it stop.

 One such soldier of fortune is The Viridi-Anne, the Japanese -born label created by Tomoaki Okaniwa. 

If there's one thing the world needs, it's fashion forward zombie hunters. 











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They shriek of of ancient discomfort caused by leather medical exoskeletons. 


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Unknown, possibly Rick Owens.

"Goth", for the monochrome palette, overall gloom, Victorian and Edwardian inspiration,tattered edges, and super-tight, bordering-on-fetishistic fits.  "Ninja", for the obscured face, seaweed-like sweeps, and sense of sneakening.

The primary designers are Rick Owens, Gareth Pugh, and Ann Demuelemeester, the latter unpronounceable lady I just want to murder in her spooky bed for giving birth to these boots:

As it is not financially feasible to have these boots AND a college education, I suggest you youngins sit down for a good hard think about where your priorities lie.

Like asphalt Bedouins, the gothninja tribe wraps, drapes, and jangles. The look is prohibitive: only the extremely svelte (or starved) can really pull it off.  The silhouette is stick legs and swooping shoulders, making this one of the very few nearly-non-unisex fashion statements. Lookbook superstar Biz C. pulls off some gothninja garb with applomb, but the lady is far from voluptuous.

Luckily (I guess), the signature drop-crotch harem pants sported by so many gothninja have appeared in outlets as accessible as H&M, where hipster scum are already pairing them with Wayfarers for the ultimate in street-level purgative effect.  Just the other day I saw a group of them standing in a circle, affecting disaffection while playing some sort of hackysack/lacrosse mashup, cradling the 'sack in their sagging trousers while rolling their eyes.  I had to have a lie down.

This cunt remains ambivalent about the ol' drop-crotch, but the rest of gothninja speaks to me on a spiritual, sexual level.  I find myself wearing too many scarves, cinching here and draping there, and generally refusing to give it a rest. I am told regularly that I "look like a crazy person" and I just cannot bring myself to care.

And it's not all black holes and revelations; a few rebel cels have splintered off to form new flocks.

Cloudninja. (Rick Owens Fall '09)

And of course, Steamninja. (Ann Demeulemeester Fall/Winter 09, image from Fashion Flux)

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That obsession, was Shoutfit.

Shoutfit was a neat little website where you and I could post photographs of our stylish togs. It was wonderfully organized. You could tag the photo all over to label every piece of your outfit, describing the brand, price, and where you acquired it. But above all, Shoutfit was wonderful because of its diversity. 

Unfortunately, Shoutfit died suddenly without so much as a whisper of goodbye. No warnings, the site just disappeared. 

Now, over a year later, it seems that a new website has risen to take Shoutfit's place. 

Lookbook.

As a devoted fan of Shoutfit, when I heard about this website, I was elated with joy. Finally, a new style site I could obsess over. But I spoke too soon.

Instead of a style website, Lookbook is an interweb hangout for escapees of American Apparel sex dungeons. It's a Mecca for camera-whore Swedish gay boys with beards, who used to be in some band that played your cousin's party, but now just work in that used book store down the street. It's a stomping ground for girls who wear stretch pants, a blouse found in a gutter, gold sunglasses, their grandmother's costume jewelry, and wrap it all up with the stench of not showering for a week. 

When this is the most popular look on a style website with thousands of members, I fear for the future of fashion. 

It doesn't help that Lookbook has decided to be an exclusive snot, as it is a 'invitation only' community where it's not really important what your wearing, it'swho your wearing. 

The whole thing makes me sad. It has great potential to b an amazing style community, but trust fund brats have seen to it that we shall never see anything but images of scene kids in 70's pajamas.

Actions speak louder than words, but even more vehement is appearance. Someone once said that it's 40% how you look, 40%how you sound, and 10% what you actually say. When it comes to casual interaction, I've always found this to be the gospel. If you look good and sound good, you can survive any social situation. 

So how does this relate to style?

Having actual style in alt culture is an onerous task. The aim has become more about identifying with a subculture, rather than creating a look that identifies withyou. The googles make you steampunk, the hair falls make you cyber, the New Rocks make you rivet and so on. Alt culture has reached this pinnacle where the clothes make us who we are. 

What is your look trying to say? Are you and your posse elite cypher-ninjas? Do those brown goths really have a tiny biplane parked outside? Do you take periodic breaks to drink the blood of the innocent?  I was unaware that Lip service is a sovereign nation with a substantial military, what with the numerous humans donning their uniform. 

So there's the first 40% (but if you ask me, it's really more like the first 70%). The viewer has already assessed most of who you are by the way you look. Fashion has become so compartmentalized that looks are becoming regalia. If this continues, alt style is surely doomed. 

The point is, if you look like an asshole, people will assume you are an asshole. 

To move on, I will not deny that many people can pull it together. Within subcultures, style does indeed exist. Scores of mortals have been known to show up at ye olde nightclub looking magnificent. 

Which brings me to the real issue at hand, the way you sound. The most expensive clothes from the most prestigious designers are not worth a thing once you have consumed your third drink. What happened to poise? What happened to grace? Hours of style primping can all come crashing to the ground the second you stumble in your stilettos. 

If it's 40% how you sound, most of you are preordained to fail. The gods of liquor have seen to that. 

I conclude that some contemplation is in order. If you look like an asshole andsound like an asshole, then the last 10% won't even matter, because no one will care what you have to say. 

As I can never post without the addition of photos, here are some images that, for me, always embodied the essence of poise and grace. 

Photos by Irving Penn.





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YARN FRAGGLES

I have posted the worst, the most pointless, and the ugliest hair extensions. Now, I will post the most ridiculous of all: the yarn heads. What person in their right mind thinks that this is a good idea? Did they perhaps fall into their mother's knitting basket? 

It's not hair, it's not even pretend hair, it's just a big, huge fashion mistake.

But on a lighter not, this photo makes me laugh so hard that I have to push the laptop away periodically. 


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IT MAKES A SLINKATY SOUND...

There is something I must know, and this is essential. What mad company produces the mini slinkys for these hair falls? Is there really such a demand for cyber locks that an actual company would put these things into production? And in every fluorescent color under the sun? It is truly, one of life's great mysteries. 

These accessories frighten me. 

They frighten me because if you were to push one of these girls off a building, they would go-go gadget bounce to safety. 


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THE PLASTICS

Of all the extension catastrophes, the stringy plastic hair falls have to be the least attractive.  It looks like they raided a summer camp craft closet. This video will show you step by step, a much better use for your hairtastrophes. 

Hey! The children want their lanyard materials back! 


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THE WOOL HAIRED ANIME ESCAPISTS

I would love to meet the inventor of wool dreads so I can personally extend my thanks. Now I can literally mop the floor with a bigmouth bitch. Empty threats are a thing of the past.

Is there a secret portal connecting the anime world with ours? Like in the film 'Cool World'? I can't imagine where else these big haired wonders came from.

If you see an old lady creeping up on you, run! She might have a loom. 




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This article has plagued me for weeks. How could I precisely express the hate I feel for the yarn heads, the fraggles, and the cyber tarts? There's a ton of ground to cover on this subject, so we best get started quickly.

THE CYBER TART SYNTH DOLLS

I shall be the first to admit that I have worn synth dreads, but I never had the intention of becoming the live version of Cyber Girl Barbie.  There is a right way and a dumb way to wearing synth dreads, and i must say, 90% of you look like idiots (or maybe a smaller-headed version of a Bratz doll). 

Let us review a few of the examples..

Top Left: Lazy eye cyber bee girl, why do you exist? By the way you are glowing, the many radioactive symbol tattoos I'm positive you have must surely be warnings of the intense radiation diffusing from your hair. 

Middle Left: Little Bo Peep Lolita, you must be keeping your sheep inside your hair. Let's hope you never get rained on, I doubt you could support the weight of your hair wet. 

Bottom Right: I have no qualms with you, you look a'ight. Good for you.



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The perfect thing for damp London cyber kids.







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I've had enough of men bleating that there are no decent designers or labels for men. It's not that they don't exist, it's that you are far too lazy to look for them. I pity your lack of patience. 

Here's an easy bump in the right direction. Tokyo based designer Julius is exporting the look I want to see all of you swathed in by mid 2009. Julius and designers like him have slowly been creeping out of the shadows into the mainstream, providing us with the post-apocalyptic zombie hunter silhouette we crave. 

You can find his collections in a wide range of stores all over the world, many in the United States. And if you find the price tag to be too exorbitant, the look is relatively easy to pull off .

Just add:

1 cup distressed boots

2 tablespoons cargo pants

3 cups layered shirts

1 scissors 

1 quart medley of belts and straps

1 whole leather jacket, distressed, destroyed, rebirthed

Pinch of black, brown, and gray

Mix!






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.... have interesting eyebrows. The possibilities of stylistic eyebrows are endless. Give thought to some varied shapes and colors. 

Eyebrows found via Modelmayhem. If you can name all those models (I can't), you spend too much time on the internet. Go outside and play for once. 

DON'T....

..... have invisible eyebrows. Unless you have alopecia (like Stan Sitwell on Arrested Development, and even he wore hilarious false eyebrows), you have no excuse to leave the house looking like a naked mole rat.

I know you wish you could be your rock idol, Marilyn Manson, but let's face it, that ship has sailed. It sailed the day his music went from Marilyn Manson to Manz Ferdinanson (seriously, I'm waiting for the matching black suits and white ties to appear). 

Unlike other fashion statements, there is no way that this one can be done well. Give it up, you look like an asshole. An asshole who disco dances while shaving.